Becoming a Source of Nourishment

You have finally arrived at Week 4 and maybe you are thanking your lucky stars this cleanse is finally over and you can dive into that bag of potato chips or grill up a steak.  Or maybe you are a little heartbroken all the fun had to come to an end, but guess what?  It doesn’t end here.  Don’t roll your eyes at me, I’m not going to spout off any crazy new diet rules or food fads to follow, but I do want you to realize that everything you discovered over the past three weeks is now a part of you.  No matter what your initial reason for starting this cleanse, I have a feeling it has probably evolved in ways you never expected and you have probably grown in ways you never expected. 

Food is a sensitive subject and a hot topic these days.  Just think about how many times throughout the day you think about what you are going to have for lunch or where you will go out to eat for dinner.  As a culture we like to talk about food.  And why wouldn’t we?  Food is great.  We need food to survive and not only that but we want to enjoy it.  And while we can get great pleasure from what we eat, it is also extremely important to create healthy boundaries around our food choices and find a way to nourish ourselves with what we eat; nourishment not only on a physical level, but nourishment for emotional and mental health as well.

Over this next week as you slowly transition back into your routine, I invite you to consider if you have any stressful thoughts around food.  Do you find yourself making “I should” or “I shouldn’t” statements around eating?  Do you feel guilty for having something you deem unhealthy? Sometimes we get so set in our ways of eating and the thoughts we have around food that we are unaware just how trapped we can become by our negative beliefs and associations.  You can find freedom in your food choices and discover what it means to be nourished on a deeper level.  So here is what I am proposing, for the next week (or more if you really like this tool!) use the four questions from the self-inquiry technique called “The Work” to gain insight into the root of your struggles around food.  You can do this with a friend or write it all down so you can go back and read through it later.

1. Write a judgment or stressful belief/thought that you have recently had.
2. Is it True? (Take time to deeply consider the question, and then write your answer.)
3. If yes, are you absolutely sure that it’s true? (Take time to deeply consider the question, and then write your answer.)
4. How do you react and what is it like when you are believing that it is true? (Take time to deeply consider the question, and then write your answer.) The following are prompting questions to help you notice more detail.
1. How do you treat yourself?
2. How do you treat others?
3. What thoughts does this lead to?
4. What does it feel like in your body?
5. Close your eyes and imagine yourself in the same situation, without the thought.  What does it feel like to be in this same situation without the thought?
6. What is the opposite of your original statement/thought?  Are there any ways in which this could be as true or more true than your original statement?

I also want to encourage you to slowly transition back into your normal food routine; treat coming off of the cleanse the same way you did during the Preparation Week.  Take care not to shock your body back into loads of caffeine or processed foods right away, but gradually add the foods you want back into your diet.  Gently let the body know your intention of returning and take the time to contemplate what you have learned from this cleanse and if there is anything you would like to incorporate into your daily eating patterns.  You can always refine your intention and discover what it means for you to be nourished.

How do we become a source of nourishment?  One way is by making mistakes.  The times when we don’t listen to ourselves are just as valuable as the times we do.  The only way to get in touch with our inner understanding of how to nourish ourselves is by paying attention—seeing what works and what doesn’t work.  Not all foods serve us well.  If we know a certain food causes a negative reaction (headaches, sore throats, bloated tummy), then we learn to avoid that food.  The cleanse is a fantastic opportunity to pay attention to how you feel when you feed yourself clean foods as well as when you add other foods back into your system.

Practice nourishment.  Practice it so well, that you forget you’re even doing it.  When we learn something that completely, we have a saying for it.  We say that you know it by heart.

Renewing Your Intention

As we’re over halfway through the Living Yoga challenge and approaching the last leg of our cleanse, it seems as if the finish line should be in sight but I’m not quite seeing it.   I’m not even sure there is a finish line, and to be honest I think I’m okay with that.  This idea of commitment is not about a quick fix to get something we (think) we want and then wipe our hands clean to never revisit or renew the original intention.  Instead, at least for me, this journey has been about devoting myself to a path that I can navigate for life.  What can I do without and what do I need to incorporate into my daily living? 

So as we come upon this last week of the cleanse, I encourage you to revisit your intention in deciding to join the Living Yoga Program and reaffirm the commitments you set on day one.  Perhaps make a list of all the ways the physical, cleansing and awareness practices have impacted your life.  Then take a look at your list, and choose the most important one for you.  The challenge I want to offer is this—are you living out what you value the most?

Week 4 Details: Protein

Protein combined with any vegetables

Protein should be eaten separately from grains, seeds, and nuts

Aside from fats, proteins are one of the most complex matters for our bodies to digest.  Staying with the food combining principles and to promote easy digestion, proteins can be combined with vegetables, but not with grains.  Your protein meal will consist of a serving of tofu, fish, or beans, accompanied by an assortment of vegetables.   Although beans are also complex carbohydrates, for the intent of this cleanse, they are included in the protein category because they are more difficult to digest than grains.

Typically, six to eight ounces of protein a day is enough for most people during a cleanse (roughly equates to a deck of cards).  Like the grains phase, this week also varies from person to person.  Some people need more protein, especially if they are physically active, have a demanding schedule, or are experiencing a lot of stress. Others may decide to have less protein or to have it every other day.  Rely on your energy levels as a guideline for how much protein or grain you need during this week.

At this point in our cleanse, we are moving toward a more inclusive way of feeding ourselves.  The reintroduction of protein kindly brings your body out of the cleansing state without the risk of shocking your entire system.  Now is a great time to become aware of how you can stay nourished on proteins, grains, vegetables and fruits in a clean way that maintains your energy and sense of balance.  Sometimes it’s hard to see the benefits of doing a cleanse when we’re experiencing headaches or fatigue, but to improve our health, feel mentally clear and have more energy, sometimes we have to go through challenging physical and emotional experiences first.  So don’t give up, there is a silver lining in here somewhere for you.

Grocery List for Week 4:

Proteins

Avocado                                   

Beans—such as adzuki, black beans, black-eyed peas, cannelini, chickpeas, lima, pinto

Edamame

Fish—such as arctic char, cod, haddock, salmon, sardines, tilapia, trout, tuna

Tofu—any consistency

Optional: eggs, miso

Fats

Avocado

Cold-pressed extra-virgin olive oil

Flax oil

Optional: unrefined toasted sesame oil

Recipes to Try:

Black-Eyed Peas with Red Onion and Fresh Mint

Serves 4 people

Prep Time: 10 minutes

Ingredients:

2 cups cooked or canned black-eyed peas, drained

1 small red onion, thinly sliced into rings

2 cloves garlic, peeled and minced

4 stalks celery, finely chopped

1/3 cup freshly squeezed lemon juice

3 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil

½ teaspoon salt

½ teaspoon freshly grounded black pepper

1 cup coarsely chopped fresh mint

Instructions:

In a large serving bowl, combine all the ingredients except for the month. Mix well. Stir in the chopped mint just before serving. Serve at room temperature.

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Crispy Sesame Tofu

Serves 4 people

Prep Time: 15minutes

Marinating Time: 1 hour

Cooking Time: 25 minutes

Ingredients:

3 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil

3 tablespoons tamari or Bragg

3 tablespoons freshly grated ginger

6-8 cloves garlic, peeled and minced

½ teaspoon crushed red pepper or to taste

1 pound extra-firm tofu pressed to remove excess water, sliced ½- inch thick

2-3 tablespoons unhulled sesame seeds

Instructions:

1. Combine the oil, tamari, ginger, garlic, and crushed red pepper in a small bowl and mix well.

2. Arrange the tofu slices in a single layer in a baking dish and add the marinade.  Let the tofu marinate for an hour in the refrigerator, turning each piece over at least once.

3. Prehead the oven to 400 degrees. Springkle the tofu with sesame seeds. Bake, uncovered, for 25 minutes, or longer for crisper tofu.

Finding Your Limit

“Instead of living in servitude to our cravings, we can nourish our bodies and spirits by limiting our choices and making purposeful decisions about food.  In this way, food can help us find the internal balance and harmony we all strive for.  So you see, there’s a choice.  We can exist in a large field but be tethered all the time, or in a smaller meadow where we are free to roam.”

In our country, you can pretty much give yourself whatever you want at any given time—especially when it comes to food.  Our monkey minds are incessantly telling us “I need this. I want that.” But to feed ourselves in a way that offers balance for both the body and (monkey) mind, we have to set some limits.  Creating limits however, does not mean that we try every crash diet out there or deny ourselves of pleasure in the name of health.  This will only lead to an unhealthy dynamic in the way we relate to our food. 

As well intentioned and sensible as some food programs are, most of them tend to keep us trapped in the physical body, completely ignoring the whole person.  And unless we are inspired to nourish ourselves as a whole, consistent disciplined food choices will continue to escape us.  The willingness to engage in this discipline does not mean that a lifetime of habits will change over night.  And that’s more than okay, normal in fact.  The most important thing is that you be compassionate with yourself no matter where you are right now in relationship to nourishing yourself. 

This week as we begin to incorporate grains, seeds and nuts into our cleanse, practice feeding yourself with a calm mind and grateful heart, accepting wherever you are on your journey to finding your limit.

Week 3 Details: Grains, Seeds and Nuts

            Grains combined with any vegetables (except avocado)

            Seeds or nuts combined with any vegetables (except avocado)

            Grains, seeds and nuts should be eaten separately

During this next phase, you can add one or two grain meals per day to your vegetable and fruit dishes, depending on your specific needs.  This portion of the cleanse tends to be highly individual, as for some of us grains are a great source of energy; but for others, even whole grains can keep them trapped in their carb addiction.  How do you know where you belong on this whole grain scale? This week as you prepare a grain dish, pay careful attention to how you feel one to three hours after consuming the meal.  Do you crave more carbs or sugar?  Do you feel a decrease in energy, or do you feel keyed up for hours?  If you discover that it does fuel you, continue on with this stage of the cleanse.  If however, you find grains cause you to have low energy or have an instant hunger for more carbohydrates, modify your grain consumption by eating only a small portion each day; eating grain every other day; or skipping this portion altogether and continue eating under the principles of Week 2.

We also include seeds and nuts at this time, with an emphasis on sunflower seeds, pumpkin seeds, sesame seeds, almonds and walnuts.  We are still supporting simple digestion during this week, so seeds and nuts should not be eaten at the same time as grains, because the protein and carbohydrate combination complicates digestion.  Instead consider eating seeds and nuts as a snack or part of your vegetable meal.  Since these foods are small and easy to grab, be careful about how many you eat.  At most have only two to three tablespoons of seeds, or approximately 15-20 almonds per day as they will cause some congestion with the digestive tract.

No matter what, practice bringing awareness and gratitude to each meal, transforming your experience of eating into the experience of being fed.

Grocery List for Week 3:

Grains

Basmati rice                         Brown rice

Buckwheat                           Jasmine rice

Millet                                    Quinoa

Sushi rice                             Optional: rice cakes

Seeds—raw or dry roasted

Pumpkin

Sesame

Sunflower

Nuts—raw or dry roasted

Almonds

Walnuts

Recipe to Try:

Sweet Brown Rice with Mushrooms

Serves 4 people

Prep Time: 15 minutes

Cook Time: 55 minutes

Ingredients:

1 cup uncooked short grain sweet brown rice

2 cups water

1 tablesppon extra-virgin olive oil

4 cloves garlic, peeled and minced

½-1 tablespoon minced ginger

1 cup assorted mushroom caps (shiitake, cremini, porcini, etc.), thinly sliced

2-3 tablespoons mirin

¼ cup minced scallions

½ cup frozen sweet green peas

1-2 tablespoons tamari or Bragg

¼ cup vegetable stocks

¼ teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

Instructions:

To cook the rice, place 1 cup uncooked rice in a pot with 2 cups of water. Bring to a boil, uncovered. Reduce the heat to medium-low, cover, and cook for about 30 minutes, or until all the water is absorbed.  Turn off the heat and let stand, covered, for 5 minutes before using.

In a large skillet, heat the oil over medium-high heat. Saute the garlic, ginger, and mushrooms for 2 minutes.  Reduce the heat to medium and add the mirin.  Cover and cook for 3-4 minutes.  Add the scallions and cook, covered for an additional 2 minutes.

Sitr in the rice and peas and cook, uncovered, for 2-3 minutes.  Add the tamari, vegetable stock, and pepper.  Cook, stirring, until the liquid is almost all absorbed.

Living Attentively

Lately, I’ve been on this kick of “living attentively”—attentive to my breath, my actions, my words, my relationships, and how I spend my time. Do you ever feel so crazy busy that it’s all you can do to just get through the day?  Well I live in that state all too often and it recently hit me that I have control over how I handle my day and how I react to possible stressors.  I mean I know I have the ability to choose whether or not I will let something stress me out, but do I really know that and live in a way that reflects it?  Unfortunately, more not than so.  Therefore, I have committed to living in this attentive state as much as possible, and part of that commitment is participating in a Living Yoga Program at Asha Yoga.  Not only am I a student in this 4-week process, but I also agreed to lead a nutrition portion for the program.  Living attentively goes hand in hand with eating attentively. The practice of consciously feeding ourselves sets awareness into motion.  Awareness isn’t something that you keep in a box and use only for certain parts of your life.  It’s all encompassing.  Awareness can be compared to a ceiling light.  It has the power to illuminate all parts of yourself and the more you nourish yourself, the stronger the wattage of your awareness becomes. 

“The gift of nourishment is that we have to do it everyday.  We just don’t say: “Well, I don’t feel like feeding myself today. I think I’ll take the day off!” Each time we feed ourselves is an opportunity to practice self-love, compassion, and reverence for our spiritual nature.”

So what does this all mean?  Well, over the next 3 weeks I will be embarking on a cleanse with a sweet group of 9 people and I’m asking you to join me as well.  This cleanse is about understanding how to integrate nourishment into your everyday life.  To do a cleanse, you do have to commit a certain amount of time to learning how to prepare food, shop, and feed yourself in possibly a new way.  But the structure of this cleanse is supportive and you won’t crumble under excessive demands or crazy dietary changes.  And give yourself permission to find what works for you and what doesn’t—what do you have to lose?

Here’s a quick run down of the weeks to come:

Week 1: Preparation Week

Week 2: Emphasis on Vegetables and Fruit

Week 3: Incorporation of Grains, Seeds and Nuts

Week 4: Addition of Protein

Our group is already in the preparation phase, but that doesn’t mean you can’t start as you are ready and follow my posts when you decide a cleanse is right for you.  For all my Living Yoga crew, here are the details for Week 2:

Vegetables and Fruit

                        Any combination of vegetables, including avocado

                        Fruit eaten alone

Because most of the food you will eat over the next week is perishable, it’s best to buy small amounts of fresh produce every three to four days. However, until you are familiar with the quantities and types of foods you need, it’s better to purchase too much than to not have enough.

When purchasing produce, do your best to buy organic when possible. Also choose the produce that has the most vitality; meaning the smaller fruits and vegetables in general are more nutrient rich and have more flavor than larger varieties.

Green, chlorophyll-rich vegetables and hearty root vegetables will be your primary food sources during this cleanse as they provide you with the most energy and have the least toxic effect on the body (Note: the deeper the green, the better).  Basing your cleanse around these greens will provide the roughage needed to help the body gently eliminate excess matter, purify the blood and supply minerals essential to optimal functioning. If you’re still trying to decide if this cleanse is right for you, don’t worry, you won’t be eating salads 24/7 for the next 3 weeks.  While cleansing, you are free to have an unlimited amount of vegetables and this is not limited to salads—think outside the box to soups, steamed, sautéed, baked, and roasted vegetable dishes.

While you may consume an unlimited quantity of vegetables, you do need to be cautious about how much fruit you eat.  In general, limit your fruit intake to about twenty percent of the bulk of food you eat in a day.  This suggestion isn’t about denying you of sweets, but to protect your body from cleansing too quickly.  Because fruit is digested rapidly, it has the ability to accelerate the cleansing process, and while this may sound like a good thing, it is important to exercise caution when engaging in a cleanse.  If you detox too quickly the body and mind can get overwhelmed and the system possibly overtaxed.  So take your time in the early stages to let your body adjust to the dietary and digestive changes. It is possible, and normal to experience symptoms such as headaches, dizziness, lack of focus and lethargy during a cleanse, especially if you typically consume a lot of caffeine, wheat and sugar.  If you do experience symptoms such as these it will usually occur during the first phase as your body is releasing what’s in excess and unnecessary.

It is entirely up to you how much or how little you choose to adhere to these cleanse guidelines.  It is important however that you listen to your own body and honor what it needs in the moment to feel nourished. Try not to give yourself a guilt trip if you have to have that piece of chocolate or cup of coffee.  More importantly, let this cleanse be about exploring a process of transforming habitual, constricting patterns and behaviors into nourishing practices that encourage growth and self-awareness.

“When you pay attention to feeding yourself, the doors of awareness open in all areas of your life.  Take a deep breath and remember that like most things really worth having, nourishment isn’t a quick fix but a long-term commitment to yourself.”

           

           

Grocery List for Week 2:

Vegetables: Non-starchy and low-starchy

Arugula                         Asparagus                          Bok choy              

Broccoli                         Brussels sprouts                Cabbage                       

Cauliflower                   Celery                                 Chard                                   

Collard greens              Dandelion greens               Fennel root                       

Kale                              Leeks                                  Lettuces                       

Onions                          Peas                                   Peppers                       

Radishes                      Shitakes                              Spinach                       

Sprouts                        String beans                        Tomatoes

Vegetables: Starchy

Beets                            Carrots                                Corn

Edamame                     Parsnips                              Potatoes

Sweet Potatoes             Yams

Fruit: Fresh

Apples                        Apricots                              Bananas

Blackberries               Cherries                             Clementines

Cranberries                Grapefruits                         Grapes

Kiwis                           Mangoes                            Melons

Nectarines                  Papayas                             Peaches

Plums                         Raspberries                        Strawberries

Tangerines

Fruit: Dried

Apples                        Apricots                              Black mission figs

Currants                      Dates                                 Nectarines

Papayas                      Prunes

Recipe to Try:

Cauliflower Curry

Serves 4-6 people

Prep time: 20 minutes

Cooking time: 25 minutes

Ingredients:

2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil

1 onion, chopped

4-6 cloves, garlic, peeled and minced

1 small head of cauliflower, cut into large florets

3 small potatoes, chopped

¾ cup salsa, or 3 fresh chopped tomatoes

½ cup water

½ cup fresh or frozen broad beans, string beans or snap peas cut into 1-inch pieces

1-teaspoon curry power

½ teaspoon ground cumin

¼ teaspoon ground cinnamon

½ teaspoon salt

Instructions:

In a large skillet, heat the oil over medium heat. Sauté the onion and garlic until the onion is soft, about 5-8 minutes.  Add the cauliflower, potatoes, salsa and water.  Cover and simmer for about 20 minutes, until the potatoes are soft.  Stir in the beans or peas and remaining seasonings, and cook, covered, for 5 more minutes, until the flavors are blended. 

I Wish

There’s something in our nature that causes us to compare ourselves to others and it’s usually tied with an “I wish” statement.  For a moment, replay your thoughts from the day and see if at any point you compared yourself to someone else, maybe wishing you had something of theirs—looks, money, career, family, etc. Now remember that quality of comparison. 

For years I have immersed myself in the health industry working in gyms, physical therapy offices, wellness centers and yoga studios.  I have front row seats for physical comparison at it’s finest.  And I’ve noticed, women especially are overcritical of themselves and quick to judge, and I just might be the gold medal winner of this game.  It has been a constant battle to accept my body as is and appreciate all that it does for me on a daily basis.  In fact, I tend to take it for granted and try to beat it into submission only to wonder why I am so exhausted and not seeing results.  Lately I have been reading several books on Ayurveda, a traditional medicine system that is native to India and addresses a therapeutic way of living.  The science is most concerned with life’s physical bases, and concentrates on inducing right relationship with body, mind and spirit.  For some reason, even though the information is not entirely new to me I had an “aha moment” with this last book.  There is a section that talks about rejuvenation and how disease is an opportunity to learn from our mistakes.  If we can find balance with our food, sleep, routine and mental patterns we can avoid becoming sick.  The key is, we are all different and we have to accept that as a part of defining what is healthy action for us may not be healthy for the person we are comparing ourselves to.  Longevity requires slowness; there is no magic pill or quick solution to health.  So instead of beating myself up when I miss a workout or wish I was different I am learning to embrace all the characteristics that are unique to me and to me only, daily reestablishing my commitment to health and rejuvenation. 

Now recall that quality of comparison you noted earlier.  And consider this idea, we are generally drawn to and perhaps overcritical of certain characteristics in others because it is something we deeply desire for ourselves.  Now how can you support that quality within yourself in a nurturing way?  Not demanding that it happen, not assuming it will, but cultivating a sense of openness and loving-kindness towards yourself.  Give yourself permission to be you, in your entirety.

            

The Weight of It All

I have a phobia of scales.  Just the thought of going to the doctor sends me into a state of panic, and not for the actual exam, but because of the preliminary step of taking my weight.  It is so extreme I put off going to the doctor when really I need to. I know that in the long run this tiny act of stepping up on that scale pales in comparison to the big picture of why I’m there, but I can’t shake the fear-gripping feeling in my gut.  I have read countless articles that boast weighing yourself on a regular basis as one of the best tools to keep your weight in check.  Maybe that works for some, but I am a case where this is not helpful and on the verge of harmful.  I’m not advocating ignoring your weight all together, but this type of obsessive monitoring is part of a bigger problem that leads to a lack of awareness of our bodies and can eventually lead to a negative relationship with food. When we reduce our self to a number on the scale we run the risk of losing a deeper connection to our body.  I realize not everyone feels the same way I do, and maybe you think my phobia is crazy, but this is an issue that exists.  

According to the American Dietetic Association, each year more than half of all Americans try to either lose weight or maintain a recent weight loss.  As well intentioned and sensible as some food regimens are, the majority of them tend to keep us trapped in the physical dimension of existence, ignoring a deeper hunger that dwells within each of us.  Unless we are driven to nourish this place within ourselves, regular disciplined food choices will continue to elude us.  In Hale Sofia Schatz book, “If the Buddha Came to Dinner” she talks about this idea of nourishment as a discipline: “The gift of nourishment is that we have to do it everyday.  We just don’t say: “Well, I don’t feel like feeding myself today.  I think I’ll take the day off!”  Each time we feed ourselves is an opportunity to practice self-love, compassion, and reverence for our spiritual nature. The willingness to engage in this discipline doesn’t mean that a lifetime’s worth of patterns will change overnight.  No, I can assure you that the myriad food choices, pressured schedules, and emotional associations will all be there tomorrow.  That’s okay.  Be compassionate with yourself no matter where you are in your relationship to feeding yourself.”

In a culture where we cannot escape the concept of weight, dieting, portion control, body image, etc. it’s no wonder we have a screwed up relationship with food and our own bodies. We have in essence lost a sense of what it means to be nourished.  There is cause for concern given the more recent rise in obesity rates in America, but with the constant bombardment of weight loss ads, books, pills and regimens it’s challenging to decipher what and how much we actually need to feed ourselves.  How do we know fact from fiction?  When looking for diet and fitness advice there are a few key questions you should ask of the source: Does the author have nationally recognized credentials? Does the product being advertised promise quick increases in physical performance?  If something is extremely expensive or contains a secret ingredient that cannot be disclosed make sure to get more information before trusting the product. Is there data to back up a product’s promise?  Is it too good to be true?  Bottom line, trust your gut.  And remember, there is never a one size fits all solution when it comes to finding the right foods to nourish you.  Be patient with yourself and accept the ups and downs as part of the process of finding a balanced relationship with your food and body.

It would be great if we could trade out our bodies for a newer model with all the features we desire, but of course we can’t.  This is our one body.  This is our life.  Instead of trying to change yourself and live in a state of want, try providing yourself with a loving discipline.  You are the only one that can ultimately take care of you.  Nourish from the inside out. 

Falling in Love

I just recently started admitting to close friends that I struggled with an eating disorder in college.  It has taken a long time to even be able to say it aloud.  I’m still haunted by it.  I still think of all the tricks I used to stay thin and how maybe I could just use a few now to loose a pound or two.  Then I realize this type of thinking is what I have been fighting against and trying to get away from for years.  Why is it still here and how do I make it go away?

It’s hard to define healthy.  As a culture, we are obsessed with image.  T.V., movies, magazines, etc. lure us into this ideal feminine shape that somehow we end up craving and thinking we can have. However, we are all so uniquely different and comparing ourselves to any other person is crazy, foolish even, yet we still do it.  It’s as if we enjoy the self-torture of knowing we can never look like someone else, yet take extreme measures to try.

Deborah Adele speaks about the harm that comes from not loving ourselves in her book, “The Yamas & Niyamas”: Our ability to stay balanced and courageous has much to do with how we feel about ourselves.  [In truth] how we treat ourselves is how we treat those around us.  If you are a taskmaster with yourself, others will feel your whip.  If you are critical of yourself, others will feel your high expectations of themselves as well.  If you are light hearted and forgiving with yourself, others will feel the ease and joy of being with you.  If you find laughter and delight in yourself, others will be healed in your presence.

Love lies at the core of nonviolence and begins with our love of self.  Not a love that is ego-centric but a love that is forgiving and lenient; a love that sees the humor in the imperfections and accepts the fullness of the human expression.  Only when we find this love for all the parts of ourselves, can we begin to express fully the love that wells up inside of us for others.  Finding this love for all the parts of ourselves means we have to forgive ourselves.  Without forgiveness, we carry guilt like a heavy burden around our hearts.  Guilt holds our love for self and others hostage and keeps us bound to a one-sided expectation of the human experience.

I cannot say this enough times.  Our inability to love and accept all the pieces of ourselves creates ripples-tiny acts of violence-that have huge and lasting impacts on others… These attempts to change self, rather than love self, keep us trapped in vicious cycles that we can’t crawl out of…

As silly as it may sound, practice falling in love with yourself.  Just for one day see what it would feel like to love you without any expectations or judgments.  Falling in love is such a wonderful thing—the other can do no wrong.  The loved one is always beautiful and desirable and everyone around the lover also feels the love. Simply become curious what affect falling in love with yourself would have on those around you as well as yourself.  For one day, drop the negative thoughts, self-talk and unrealistic expectations and love yourself.  I give you full permission to be selfish. 

Imperfectly Perfect

Nothing can ever be perfect.  I used to think that was just something people told themselves to have an excuse not to work hard or put forth effort. I didn’t buy into that notion and spent the majority of my early 20’s trying to mold myself into this idyllic image of perfection.  I was willing to do what it took to keep myself thin, in shape, and happy.  For some reason my image of perfection was being thin, in shape, and happy.  I sacrificed my time, my relationships, and my body, treating it as if it was some extension of myself that needed discipline.  I hated everything about myself.  I would have given up everything just to be perfect.  I was consumed.

Sadly, I am not alone.  So many people, especially women, struggle with body image and food issues and fight a daily battle just to accept themselves.  Forget love.  Even today I have to convince myself what healthy really is and that all I can do is my best. I verbally have to tell myself I’m not defined by my body. It sucks, and it’s hard but thankfully I’ve found some useful tools along the way to help me through. 

Along with getting my masters in Nutrition Science a few years ago, I recently embarked on a journey teaching yoga.  I’m surrounded by health issues on a regular basis—something a doctor once told me was natural for girls with eating issues to gravitate towards.  With those words still ringing in my head, I decided to turn the negative connotation into a positive.  Not that I’m teaching yoga or writing this blog to prove this doctor otherwise, but I truly want to make a difference.  As cheesy as it sounds, I genuinely mean it.  I want to share my story so maybe others can find a little comfort and relief from the pressures they feel to be perfect.  Maybe I’m putting too much value on my experience, but I’ve learned that sometimes you have to put yourself out there and be vulnerable, even if it scares you.